I'm Not Sane Get Me Out of Here!
by ThePurpleRose
Summary: The housemates of the House of GoT do "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!"! And yes, they're still loopy! They're stuck in the jungle with no straighteners or cheese, and there's a worse suprise for them, something to do with Marduke... Please R & R!


AN: Okay, I just randomly felt like randomly writing this after I watched "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here

**NEW AN****: Yeah, I felt I ought to put that in. The AN below is the one I wrote when I started this fic a heck of a long time ago when "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!" was still on and I hadn't finished writing ****The House of GoT****. I actually managed to write most of it then as well but I put it on hold for a while (I can't actually remember why).**

**Anyway, now I've established that I started this ages ago….**

**AN: Okay, I just randomly felt like randomly writing this after I watched "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!" So here I am. I love the bush tucker trials! There's just something interesting about watching someone get covered in nasty stuff. Anyway…**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own GoT or I'm a Celebrity Get Me out Of Here. I can dream though. (Sigh).**_

**(For once, it's not in anyone's POV 'cause it's a TV show!)**

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Screaming.

All that Shaun and Jimmy could hear was screaming.

Standing there in their floral T-shirts and explorer shorts, Shaun and Jimmy were ready to explain all about what would happen on leaving the house of GoT. They had just declared that today, the inmates of the house would be taking a trip to the jungle to be contestants in "I'm Not Sane, Get Me Out of Here"! Unfortunately, they could explain little more due to the screaming.

Neriah and Isabel were the main culprits. Neriah was screaming for the simple reason that she'd seen other jungle shows and knew that her hair-straighteners and make up would have to be left behind. Also, she much preferred the luxury of a hotel to a tent outdoors with the bugs. Isabel was shrieking with her joy at going camping. She too knew that there would be bugs, trees and tents, but to her, this was the next best thing to having a lot of sugar.

Shaun and Jimmy scanned the crowd. Kyla was at the top of the stairs staring absently into the back of Arkarian's head. She had obviously been distracted. Matt was complaining to Dillon that he didn't understand and asking what a jungle was. Arkarian was sobbing for some random reason unknown to anyone – including himself. Ethan and Rochelle were busy playing tonsil tennis, while Lathenia had hurried out of the hallway to pack the medical bag for the trip and Lorian argued with her, swearing that there were bound to be medical provisions out there for her to use, otherwise they wouldn't have been sent out there.

"What have we put ourselves in for?" Shaun asked Jimmy, at a whisper.

Jimmy grinned wolfishly. "Fun, Shaun. This is gonna be hilarious!" He cupped his hands around his mouth to carry the sound, wishing he had a megaphone, and shouted at the top of his voice. "HEY! SHUT UP!"

The noise abruptly ceased. Jimmy cleared his throat. "That's better. Now, you will be appearing on TV in a show called 'I'm Not Sane, Get Me Out Of Here'. It will be filmed deep in the jungle."

Shaun took over. "You will be split into two camps of five when you get to a hotel just outside the jungle. From there you will journey to your given camps."

"When do we leave?" Isabel blurted out.

"As soon as you're packed." Shaun answered.

"YAY!" Isabel cried, racing up the stairs as fast as she could manage, scattering the stairs' other occupants.

Everyone else made their way to their rooms as quickly as they would usually to pack, leaving Shaun and Jimmy alone in the hallway.

"Well," Shaun said to his companion. "I guess all we can do now is sit back and watch the carnage. What do you say, Jimmy?...Jimmy?" Shaun finally turned his head to where Jimmy had been standing but the guy had gone. "Jimmy? Jimmy? Where are you?"

At that, Jimmy strolled back in. "I went to change my shirt." He explained.

"There was nothing wrong with the one you had on!" Shaun stated. "Hey that looks like the contestants' uniform! Jimmy?" He forced Jimmy to turn around observing the writing on the back of Jimmy's beige explorer waistcoat, also noticing that Jimmy was still wearing the floral shirt underneath. The writing read: 'Vote Mr. Fix-it O800 60017 120'.

Shaun raised his eyebrows so that he could eye his fellow presenter critically. "Jimmy, you aren't one of the contestants."

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"Cue the theme tune!"

Shaun elbowed his fellow presenter. "Jimmy! We're on!"

Jimmy turned to face the camera once more. "Oh, are we?"

"Yes!" Shaun hissed, putting on an evil little grin as he thought about the all of the nasty tasks the show had in store for the contestants. "Hi and welcome to the first series of "I'm Not Sane, Get Me Out Of Here!!"

Jimmy applied his grin to match. "But before we can get down to the really fun bits of the show, we have to meet our randomly freakish people… Seriously, who wrote this line?" Jimmy demanded on live TV to the camera crew and the director, who was busy mouthing franticly and tearing his hair out. "That's it, from now on, I'm going to make up my own show openers! I don't understand why that's the only bit you made me read."

Shaun cleared his throat. "Here's what happened when our random people were split up in a hotel and directed into a room where they would meet their campmates."

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Ethan was alone. Sure there was a cameraman in the room, whose name badge proclaimed him to be called Ian, but Ian didn't speak much. Ethan was bored. Apparently, he was supposed to be meeting his other four campmates but none of them had arrived yet. He had asked Ian if he had the right room but the cameraman has insisted that he had.

He had been waiting for ages, so when the door finally opened, he almost leapt out of his seat. The person was Dillon. Ethan clasped his friend's shoulder before collapsing back into armchair. At least he wasn't the only guy in the camp.

"Wow," Dillon commented, "It's really dated in here! It reminds me of my Granny's house."

Ethan agreed; it had big, puffy armchairs and an abundance of floral patterns and dark wood.

"So?" Dillon started; any silence was a temptation for him to do this but it was Kyla who usually played along, not Ethan. Dillon could see that in his boredom, Ethan was relying on him to start conversation and promptly continued. "Have you got any idea who our campmates are yet?"

Ethan shook his head, "Ian won't tell me."

"Ethan! Dillon!" A voice called from the doorway. The door closed with a bang as Kyla sat down on her own floral armchair. "We've already got the best camp ever!"

"Yeah!" Dillon yelled, getting into the spirit of things.

"What's up with you, Ethan?" She asked, frowning.

"Boredom," Ethan replied with a shrug. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting in this room that resembles Dillon's Granny's house."

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Screaming.

Yet again, there was lots of screaming. Jimmy found himself wishing that Shaun was there with him but the sword master had gone to explain everything to the other group. The source of the screaming was yet again Neriah. Deciding to ignore her, he cupped his hand around his mouth and yelled for silence.

Thankfully, the screaming stopped. Jimmy cleared his throat. "Right then, Lathenia, Matt, Rochelle, Arkarian and Neriah, you are the going to be the Snake River tribe."

Neriah shrieked, "SNAKES! I hate snakes!"

Jimmy sighed. "That's just the name, Neriah. There should be no actual snakes in your camp." To the camera, he winked, grinning evilly.

The Mary Sue nodded but didn't say anything, which was just as well really because Jimmy had no idea how much his patience could stretch before it snapped. He continued, "Anyway, every day, one of you will do a bush tucker trial against the other camp and whoever wins will get a meal for everyone in their camp. There is also the insanity chest, in which the two camps go head to head with each other to get a luxury like chocolate biscuits and stuff like that. However, you will need to answer a question correctly to get the prize once the chest is in your camp." He paused, taking in all five faces looking up at him from their armchairs. "Does everyone understand?"

"Yes!" Neriah, Lathenia, Arkarian and Rochelle answered in unison.

Matt looked more confused than usual. "What does insanity mean?"

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Screaming.

Shaun had expected lots of screaming, especially considering that Isabel was in this camp. But there was none. And the reason for this was that Isabel's mouth had been taped up with tape borrowed from Ian the cameraman.

Marvelling at the complete absence of screaming, Shaun announced, "Isabel, Ethan, Dillon, Kyla and Lorian you will be the Crocodile Creek tribe."

Isabel elbowed Ethan, who yelled before giving her Evils. She rolled her eyes at him and began to appeal silently to Kyla.

"Oh!" Kyla cried. "I get it! If he's supposed to be her, in this camp, where is Lorian?"

Shaun beckoned to Ian to search for the missing immortal, but Ian didn't have far to go because the door swung open, as he got to it, narrowly missing his face. The previously missing immortal stepped through it, smiling apologetically.

Dillon and Kyla wasted no time in laughing while Ethan rubbed his ribs.

"You are such a silver coated, white malteaser!" she told Lorian as his seated himself in one of the floral armchairs. "I can't believe you got lost! Even Dillon didn't manage that! And Matt probably got to his camp's room on time as well!"

"I didn't get lost," he insisted. "I went fishing; did you know they have a lake here?"

"Well yeah, it kinda says it in big lettering on the leaflet we each got when we arrived," Kyla explained.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't see it. Are you sure-"

Shaun cleared his throat loudly, gaining everyone's attention again. "So anyway, for the benefit of Lorian, I will say it again: Isabel, Ethan, Dillon, Kyla and Lorian you will be the Crocodile Creek tribe.

Every day, one of you will do a bush tucker trial against the other camp. If you win, you will get a meal for everyone in your camp. If you lose, you go hungry. There is also an insanity chest every day, for which both camps compete. It contians luxuries like tea, coffee, chocolate biscuits, cheese … etcetera."

He knew he shouldn't have mentioned cheese the second it popped out of his mouth but it was too late to take it back then. Dillon and Kyla gasped.

"Cheese is NOT a luxury!" Kyla exclaimed.

Dillon finished, "it's a necessity!"

Shaun shrugged. "Yes. Now any questions?"

Isabel's hand shot up. Shaun acknowledged it with a nod, much to Ethan's distress. Grumbling, Ethan removed the tap from Isabel's mouth.

She glared at him but asked her question anyway. "How will we be getting to our camps? Unless the camp is the hotel…"

"We are NOT staying in something that looks like my Granny's house!" Dillon put in. "I'd be forever craving tea and biscuits!"

Shaun chuckled. "Quite right Dillon. You will be sky diving to the jungle then you will trek to your camp. Don't worry; the camp will already be set up when you arrive."

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**AN: Yay! Finally finished! This chapter was basically setting the scene. It really kicks off next chapter!**

**Next chapter: How will the housemates cope with the sky diving and trekking? Will Matt ever know what the word insanity means? Will Lorian get lost? Who will be doing the first bush tucker trial? What will the second bush tucker trial be?**

**Right, I'm planning on asking for you people to vote on who does the second bush tucker trial when once I've put up the next chapter, which explains what the second bush tucker trial is. By the way, I'm always open to suggestions for bush tucker trials.**

**I need feedback! Reviews make me update faster!**

**Please review :-p **


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